Why does no one talk about poo?

I know, I know, not a great subject to talk about, but come on it happens. It is a natural thing our bodies do.

After doing a lot of research into anxiety/panic attacks over the years, going for a number two is hardly mentioned. Most of the symptoms are referred to as heart racing, sweating, shakes, sickness, and at times stomach problems.

I will admit this annoys me. I can’t be the only one who suffers going to the toilet countless times during an attack. I know everyone is different, I guess I want to know I’m not alone in this. Is poo a taboo subject? I don’t know. I just wish someone was honest about it. Maybe they have, and I just haven’t read the right post or book.

If you read my first post on here you will know where my anxiety stems from, so going for a poo is a big issue for me. Going for a poo can bring on an attack, going again because of the attack makes the attack worse. There have been times I have been scared to go for a poo because I don’t want an attack. It’s a never-ending cycle that I seem to be stuck in. Yes, I understand my body needs to do this action, but my mind turns it into something more.

 It’s only when there is nothing left to come out that I calm down. I have even taken Imodium to stop it so that I can carry on with my day. I got bad at one time taking Imodium because I didn’t want the attacks.

During these attacks where the poo is bad, I won’t eat, if I do its dry biscuits. I also won’t drink much just to avoid going to the toilet. I tend to drink 5/6 bottles of water a day, if I have an attack, you can half that. I know this isn’t good for me, but it’s the way I cope. Bad behaviour on my part. In fact, I have made a lot of bad choices over the years due to my anxiety and coping. If my stomach makes one noise, or I get a butterfly feeling this can also bring on an attack. I have learned to ignore these feelings, but on down days, my mind latches onto them. If only I could detach my mind from my stomach!!!

I have always thought I had a form of IBS as I’m a very windy person, but never had it confirmed as I don’t go to the doctors. Maybe, I will explain why I don’t go at a later date.

I am quite funny about what I put into my mouth, hence why I don’t take tablets. Food is another thing I worry about as I don’t want to eat something bad that will cause my stomach to act up. Even herbal stuff I need to take in small doses, so I know it won’t affect my stomach. I am starting to eat better again, and drinking Aloe Vera juice, which has a disgusting taste to it, by the way, to help get my digestive system to a good place. Can you see why I’m stuck in a cycle now? Yes, I know my mind is powerful, and it’s feeding my anxiety. I am just now learning how to deal with that. With time and with the right directions I will beat this. What I’m trying to say is it is okay to talk about poo. Poo, poo, poo, and one more for luck, poo.