My writing

I decided at the beginning of the week to stay off social media to try and get the story I’m working on finished. I think I lasted a day. I need the contact.

I am getting back into writing which I’m happy about. I have missed it. It becomes a part of you, the characters I write about are an extension of myself. It also helps with my anxiety in a way. I have something to concentrate on.

However, as soon as I lose that concentration my anxiety attacks me again. It’s like I have two stories in my head. The one I’m making up and the other is my real life. Maybe I should write about a character who suffers like I do.

Being an author isn’t easy that comes with a lot of anxieties of its own. I’m constantly aware of losing my fan base. I do have those that will stick with me through thick and thin. I love those guys. I find it hard to interact on my author page. I don’t know what posts to add to it. At times, I feel as if my writing sucks, and I’m not good enough.

I do know all authors feel this way from time to time. The market is so big it’s hard to get recognised out there. But I will keep trying because I love my stories, and sharing them.

I did a cover reveal yesterday on social media which, to be honest, didn’t do well. There are the usual bunch of beautiful ladies who did share that post for me. Thanks, ladies. I will be honest; I’m not good at promoting myself, so to have their support means the world.

The lack of interest would have usually bothered me, but for some reason, I’m relaxed about it. I am a very sensitive woman, HA, I think you have all gathered that by now. I was constantly told, I should have a thicker skin. I would put on a front saying I didn’t care about what the readers thought about my books. But, oh boy, I did.

At the end of last year, I told myself if my next book didn’t do well, I would stop writing, and go back to blogging. I knew deep down I would still write, but it would be in my own time. Shouldn’t I be doing that anyway? Yes, I should.

I guess this bout of anxiety has made me realise a lot of things about myself. One, I need to stop worrying about things. I’m working on that. Two, I need to stop trying to please others and please myself instead. Three, if a reader doesn’t like my stories, it’s okay. I provoked a response, and at the end of the day that it what it is all about. Good or bad.

Four, if one of my books doesn’t sell that’s okay too. I will just write the next one and hope that does better.

Five, I’m going to go at my own pace and be more calm about it. Maybe I have finally found that thick skin. Although, I do think every author out there has a moment of anxiety when they release a book. I believe that it’s a good thing. But it’s letting go of it after that I need to work on, and not hold onto it.

I want to finish this story on working on; I think I’m two chapters away from doing that. Get it published, and promoted the best way I can. Then instead of rushing into another story like I usually would, I’m going to sit back and relax. I’m going to let myself feel the excitement of releasing another book and treat myself. I have never done that. I think it is time I did.